The Five Agreements: Building Trust, Unity, and Purpose in Teams
Tools - Week 2
By Rick Aman on“Remember that what people say and do is much more about them than it ever is about you.” — Seth Godin
Teams succeed not only because of their strategies or skills but because of the agreements that shape how they interact. Over the years, I’ve discovered that simple frameworks often carry the deepest wisdom. One of the most practical tools I’ve come across is The Five Agreements, from Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican author and teacher known for blending Toltec wisdom with modern insight. His book has been read around the world as a guide to personal freedom, and I’ve found it equally powerful when applied to the work of teams.
At first glance, these agreements look like personal guidelines for living with integrity. But when applied to teamwork, they become powerful tools for leadership, collaboration, and culture-building. I’ve seen them transform the way teams listen to one another, resolve conflict, and move forward with clarity.
A Look at the Five Agreements - Ruiz
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
Our words create culture. When we speak with honesty and respect, we set a tone that encourages trust and openness. Teams thrive when words align and uplift, not divide.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Feedback and behavior from others often reflect their own experiences, not our worth. By not taking things personally, we create space for dialogue instead of defensiveness. Teams that practice this principle stay focused on the work, not ego.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Assumptions are shortcuts that often lead us astray. Asking clarifying questions prevents misunderstandings and strengthens collaboration. Clear communication reduces wasted effort and keeps teams aligned.
4. Always Do Your Best
Doing our best doesn’t mean perfection — it means consistent effort with integrity. Our best shifts with circumstances, but showing up with focus builds trust and momentum. Resilient teams hold to this standard, even under pressure.
5. Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen
Healthy skepticism invites us to question ideas without sliding into cynicism. Listening with respect ensures new perspectives are valued and innovation has room to grow. Teams that practice this balance avoid groupthink while staying open to growth.
Themes that Emerge: Trust, Unity, and Purpose
When practiced consistently, the Five Agreements give rise to three outcomes every team needs.
Trust is the foundation. Impeccable words, fewer assumptions, and separating identity from critique build an environment where people feel safe to contribute. Without trust, even the best strategies stall.
Unity is the alignment of diverse strengths. Unity doesn’t mean everyone thinks alike, it means moving in the same direction. The agreements provide language for handling conflict and respecting differences. Practiced well, they harmonize voices and create collective momentum.
Purpose is the compass. Even trusting and unified teams risk drifting without it. Purpose gives meaning to progress. The agreements remind us to bring our best, test ideas with curiosity, and keep words and actions aligned with the mission. Purpose ensures the trust and unity we build drive the team somewhere worthwhile.
Together, trust, unity, and purpose create the conditions for teams to thrive in disruption.
Applying the Five Agreements: From Principle to Practice
The culture of a strong team or board isn’t built on posters of principles but on daily practice. The agreements become powerful only when applied.
Take gossip. It may feel harmless, but it drains trust and fractures unity. Choosing words carefully — in meetings, hallways, or emails — creates an environment where people feel safe and respected. Clarity, not just agreement, is what keeps teams aligned. A group that merely agrees without real understanding can falter quickly; a group that seeks clarity builds something lasting.
Feedback is another moment where the agreements prove themselves. In healthy teams, feedback isn’t a personal indictment but a contribution to better work. I often remind myself and others: “This is about the work, not me.” That shift transforms defensiveness into accountability. When leaders model openness in the face of critique, trust grows, and even difficult conversations become opportunities for connection.
Consistency also matters. Teams don’t need perfection — they need reliability. When each person commits to doing their best day in and day out, the culture becomes one of steady accountability. People begin to count on one another, not because everyone is flawless, but because effort is steady and visible. That predictability builds resilience.
Balance comes from blending skepticism with listening. Too much agreement slips into groupthink; unchecked skepticism stalls momentum. When teams learn to question thoughtfully and listen genuinely, they sharpen ideas without eroding relationships. Curiosity and respect together fuel innovation and unity.
Living the agreements in this way creates an atmosphere where trust replaces suspicion, gossip gives way to clarity, and accountability feels shared rather than imposed. It is less about applying five separate rules and more about weaving them into a culture that calls people — and their work — to their best.
Closing Reflection
In higher ed or non-profits, strategy charts the course, but agreements fuel the journey. Trust allows people to believe in one another, unity keeps them rowing in the same direction, and purpose ensures the destination matters.
The Five Agreements are more than personal wisdom; they are a toolkit for leaders and teams who want to thrive. By weaving trust, unity, and purpose into daily practice, teams build not just effectiveness but enduring cultures. I’ve seen how these principles change the tone of meetings, strengthen collaboration, and renew a sense of mission.
If you are leading a team or serving on one, consider bringing these agreements into the conversation. You may find, as I have, that they provide both the language and the discipline to transform not just how teams work, but who they become together.
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At Aman and Associates, we help boards and CEOs move beyond oversight to alignment, vision, and momentum. In our retreats and leadership training, we emphasize clarity, trust, and purposeful action to strengthen governance. Using futuring and strategy tools, we guide organizations in clarifying identity and charting a preferred future.
Rick Aman, PhD – Aman and Associates
rick@rickaman.com | rickaman.com/articles