The Four Agreements: Guiding Principles for Community College Leaders
By Rick Aman onIn my journey as a community college president, I’ve encountered numerous challenges and opportunities that have required me to navigate complex situations with both empathy and insight. Throughout this journey, I’ve found that personal development frameworks can offer valuable guidance in shaping effective leadership practices. One such framework that has profoundly influenced my approach is The Four Agreements™ by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Four Agreements was published in 1997 and has sold over 15 million copies in the United States alone. It has been on the New York Times Bestselling list for multiple decades. These agreements are with ourselves, with other people, with God, and with life. They are simple, yet deeply impactful.
The Four Agreements outlines four key principles that are rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom, but have applicability. These principles are: Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions, and Always Do Your Best. Each of these agreements offers specific guidance on how to lead with integrity, resilience, and purpose. They provided guidelines for how I attempt to conduct myself as a leader, how I engage with others, and how I address the multifaceted demands of my role. They are aspirational, certainly my leadership team would agree I was far from competent, but at least self-aware.
1 - Be Impeccable with Your Word
The first agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, is a cornerstone of effective leadership, underscoring the profound influence that language wields. As a leader, I recognize that words are far more than a method of communication; they are powerful instruments that can either build or dismantle, inspire or demoralize. With this understanding, I have committed to ensuring that my communication is not only clear and honest, but also aligned with the core values and mission of our college.
"Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten." — Carl Sandburg
In leadership, clarity and integrity in communication are paramount, especially when navigating strategic initiatives or addressing challenges. By being transparent and forthright, I’ve been able to cultivate a culture rooted in trust and accountability. When people know that my words reflect my genuine intentions, they are more likely to engage openly and collaboratively, which strengthens the entire community.
Moreover, I have come to appreciate the importance of using my words to uplift and inspire. Positive reinforcement is not merely a leadership tool, but an attitude that shapes the way I interact with students, faculty, and staff. By recognizing and celebrating their achievements, I contribute to an environment where excellence is not only expected, but nurtured. This practice of acknowledging contributions boosts morale, enhances motivation, and solidifies a collective commitment to our shared goals.
2 - Don’t Take Anything Personally
The second agreement has transformed my approach to leadership by strengthening my emotional resilience and clarity of purpose. This may be the most difficult of the four agreements to apply. In any leadership role, criticism is inevitable whether it comes from students, faculty, or external stakeholders. It's natural to feel tempted to internalize this criticism, but the wisdom of The Four Agreements reminds us that the actions and opinions of others are not reflections of our worth or competence.
"People's opinions of you are a reflection of them, not you." — Anonymous
By embracing the principle of not taking things personally, I attempted to cultivate the ability to view feedback through an objective lens. Instead of letting negative feedback erode my confidence, I’ve learned to see it as valuable insight. This approach has made me more adaptable and open to change, which is essential in an evolving educational environment.
Furthermore, this agreement has been instrumental in helping me stay aligned with the broader mission and goals of our college. In leadership, it’s easy to become sidetracked by negative opinions or challenges, but by not taking things personally, I’ve attempted to maintain a steady focus on what truly matters. I understand that not all criticism is about me; often, it reflects the perspectives, experiences, or frustrations of others. You would be amazed to realize how infrequently others think about you. This understanding has allowed me to navigate conflicts with greater empathy and composure, ensuring that I respond to challenges thoughtfully rather than reactively.
Ultimately, by attempting to not take anything personally, I’ve been able to lead with greater clarity, purpose, and resilience. This agreement has been the basis in my journey to becoming a more effective and empathetic leader, capable of guiding our college through both opportunities and challenges with unwavering focus and integrity.
3 - Don’t Make Assumptions
The third agreement has been crucial in improving communication and collaboration within a diverse educational environment. As a leader, it’s easy to assume we understand the needs, thoughts, or intentions of others, but these assumptions often lead to miscommunication, unnecessary conflict, and missed opportunities.
"Clarity over agreement" - Brené Brown
One effective strategy I’ve adopted is to prioritize clarity in communications. This involves not just listening passively, but actively engaging to ensure I fully comprehend others' viewpoints. Asking thoughtful questions has proven to be a powerful tool, helping to clarify intentions and uncover underlying concerns. Whether in individual conversations or group discussions, these questions help to prevent misunderstandings and ensure that everyone’s voice is heard.
Active listening is another key aspect of avoiding assumptions. It requires hearing not just the words being spoken, but understanding the meaning behind them. By practicing active listening, I can better grasp the nuances of what others are expressing, allowing me to respond more effectively and empathetically. I know I need to set my cell phone down when I am listening.
By consistently prioritizing clarity over assumptions, I’ve made more informed decisions and created a more inclusive environment. This commitment has helped build a culture of transparency and trust, where everyone feels valued and understood. Ultimately, avoiding assumptions has made me a more effective leader, capable of navigating complex challenges with a focus on understanding and inclusion.
4 - Always Do Your Best
The fourth agreement is a powerful reminder that excellence is not about perfection, but about consistently striving to perform at our best under any circumstances. This principle has been instrumental in helping me balance ambition with self-compassion in my leadership role.
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. Always do your best." — Steve Jobs
This approach has taught me to recognize and respect my limits. Some days, my best might mean tackling complex challenges with energy and focus, while on other days, it might mean simply managing to meet basic responsibilities due to external pressures or personal circumstances. By accepting this variability, I’ve been able to stay motivated and avoid the trap of self-criticism that often accompanies the pursuit of perfection.
By applying this agreement, I’ve also fostered an environment where others feel empowered to give their best without fear of judgment. When people see that their leader values effort and resilience, they are more likely to adopt the same style. This creates a supportive atmosphere that promotes continuous improvement and collective achievement. This approach has also allowed me to lead by example, demonstrating to others the importance of resilience and continuous improvement.
The Four Agreements
Adopting The Four Agreements has been transformative for me as a leader. It’s not just about adopting new behaviors; it’s about fostering a deeper sense of awareness and intentionality in everything I do. Here are a few practical ways I’ve integrated these principles into my leadership approach:
1. Reflecting on My Communication: I try to assess how I use my words, ensuring that they align with my values and the mission of our institution.
2. Practicing Emotional Detachment: When faced with criticism or challenges, I take a step back and remind myself not to take things personally. This helps me focus on constructive solutions.
3. Seeking Clarity: Before making decisions, I make sure to gather all the necessary information. I engage in conversations with those affected and seek to fully understand their perspectives. When my team is sharing solutions, I try to share last in order to not bias input.
4. Striving for Excellence, Not Perfection: I encourage myself and my team to do our best, focusing on progress and growth rather than unattainable perfection. Incremental improvement may be the best we can hope for.
Conclusion
Incorporating The Four Agreements into my leadership strategy at my college has profoundly shaped both my approach and the institution's culture. These agreements serve as a guiding compass, helping me navigate the complexities of leadership with clarity, purpose, and effectiveness. In an ever-changing landscape, The Four Agreements offers a timeless framework that encourages leading with integrity, compassion, and wisdom, ultimately benefiting everyone within the college community. In the end, these are critical skills for leaders.